Some reviews

Why is it so difficult to meet somebody today?

In spite of all the networking possibilities and social media?

If you are Single, Divorced or Widowed and want to get back into the Dating game, if you're looking for that elusive partner, you will be interested to hear how a pro went about it. I was a matchmaker in Ireland and had my own dating agency. I'm sharing my experience and insider views with my readers. For more info see my book's website:!

I had the honor of being asked to come on the local NBC show First Coast Living twice in the last week to give dating advice. If you missed it, you can read all that stuff in my book.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Hang 10: Tips from a Matchmaker

With Valentine's approaching, it's the time of year again to double your efforts  when you're single. At least in your head: What could you do in order to have a date at least if not Mr. Right on your arm?

My latest interview with a local newspaper Beaches Leader (1-22-15) asked me the same question in their Hang 10. If you can't get hold of a copy, here are my answers:

1. How did you get started as a writer? 
2. Was your writing always on the topic of love and relationships?
3. What made you decide to take your writing in this direction? 
4. How do you come up with the advice you give to others? 
5. Does a lot of your advice come from person experience? 
6. How have your dating tips changed with the evolution of online dating? 
7. If you could give one dating tip to all singles, what would it be?
8. What do you believe is the biggest dating mistake someone can make? 
9. What's your favorite part about helping others find love? 
10. What is your advice for Beaches singles looking to meet someone?


1. Even as student I wanted to be a journalist, became a language teacher instead. Then"Sex and the City" --notably Carrie Bradshaw- inspired me to write my own diary of similar questions that haunted me: Sex in the Country.
2.No, that's how it started; mostly I write biographic also as poems, short stories or travelogs.
3.My own experience as  a divorced woman in Ireland who started her own dating business to find Mr. Right.
4. As a matchmaker, I became the agony aunt for my clients. I monitored their progress and knew what worked and what not.
5. well as business experience. You live and you learn, it's on no school curriculum.
6. My book reflects my experience as an internet dating pioneer. I'm no longer in the business, but the nature of people doesn't change that much. Only the apps!
7. Don't leave your personality at the door of a relationship! (Be who you are!)
8. To be talking about your ex all the time and compare everyone to them.
9.I loved wedding invitations and births announcements!
10.Check back with me in a year to find out where the hot spots are. In the meantime, read my book Next Time Lucky: How to Find Your Mr. Right- in particular, the chapters at the end with dating advice.

For more dating tips, tune in to WJCT (local NPR), on 89.9 0n 2/13 for my interview with Melissa Ross at 9.a.m.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Dating as Easy as Pie?

One of the big dating sites whose great articles I often promote here, currently has a title up:"Dating is easy as 1,2,3." Really? Ask anybody who has been in the dating trenches lately if they agree?

Then I wondered how can they claim that? I deliberately did not read their article. (Not because I'm afraid of plagiarism.) As a former matchmaker and serial dater myself, I could claim the opposite and have many  story to support this.

Where do you meet somebody? How do you go about it? Does it become more difficult as we grow older? Is online dating the answer? If so, which daring site to subscribe to? How do you write a profile?
When you make the first contacts how to do separate the wheat from the chaff? How do you know people are serious? Do you have a criminal background check done on them?

Then the actual first date? What to wear? Where to meet? Dinner? Coffee? What about security? I never had the impression it was easy. That's why we have guide you. Even they aren't always successful).

So here is my own personal answer, my take on why is can be easier than you think:
First and  foremost: Are you ready for a new relationship?  (I hear adamant and vehement yeses!) What are your expectations? Are they realistic? 
Now asnwer this: Would you date yourself? Are there things about your appearance, attitude, as well as behavior that could be improved upon? Consult with an impartial person- friends may not give the best advice!)
Do you have an open attitude to new possibilities? Are you willing to leave your comfort zone?
High earners pay big money to head hunters.Why not employ the expertise of a matchmaker? If you decide to go the internet dating route, there are gazillion books to guide you.

My advice to you: Know what you want. Stay true to yourself! But consider my suggestions above.  Next Timel Lucky: How to Find your Mr. Right now offers practical dating tips.

I'm not saying it is easy. But you should make it as easy on yourself as possible.
( I still haven't read that article!)

 and how you can make it easier on yourself!

Thursday, October 30, 2014

New Release!

Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku's new book is out!
Another hot read! Check it out! Here's an excerpt:

Kiss My Lips – New Excerpt 

The doorbell sounded.
Lorna lifted her teary face out of her aunt's arms. "Who else are you expecting this morning? You’ve got more surprises in store for me, Auntie?"
Instead of answering the question, her aunt glanced at her brother.

"Please get the door, Kanu. I'll quickly get changed. Make my guest welcome, will you?"

Lorna looked from the woman rushing off to her father, who was striding towards the front door. She plucked out a handful of tissue from her bag, wiped off streaks of wet mascara and sat on the black leather bar stool by the kitchen island. She poured herself a glass of mango juice and was sipping the drink when her father came back with Logan in tow.

The glass slipped out of her right fingers but she rescued it with her left hand. Her stomach muscles contracted. Her feet rushed ahead and she threw herself into Logan's outstretched arms.

He scented of warm balsam. She inhaled as her head rested on the hard plane of his chest wall. Pure joy leaked out of her heart, flooding her entire body. The arms holding her were all taut muscle and strength. She wrapped her arms round his black silk shirt and burst into tears.

"Maybe I should leave you two," her father excused, walking in the direction of the second guest bedroom through the hallway.

Logan guided his fiancée to the pale green, moriko leaf upholstered sofa. He sat down and pulled her to sit across his thighs.

Lorna sobbed.

Logan let her cry. From time to time, he wiped her face.

Through her tears, she saw a tiny trickle of moisture drop down one lane on his cheek. "Are you crying, Logan?" she asked, not quite sure he understood her pain. She wiped one finger over the wetness and then, she saw another small tear, drop out of his right eye.

With her face only inches from his, Lorna kissed his half-parted lips. The kiss was raw and hungry as her tongue dived into his mouth, demanding and taking. Her nipples stiffened in her body-hugging top and she pressed her breasts into his torso.
Logan's arms crashed around her shoulders and the chiseled wall of his chest teased her nipples taut. Wild fire raged as his tongue dipped into her mouth, taking control and sending flickers of burning heat through her thighs.

"Your dad and aunt are here, sweetheart. Do you want me to show them how much you mean to me?" Logan's sensible words brought her back to her aunt's living room. She leaned her head on his forehead.

"When I saw the tear drop from your eye, fireworks exploded in my chest. You cried with me, Logan," she said in awe.

"Did I?" Logan shrugged, running one finger across her lips. "Love is a strange emotion, Lorna. Your pain is my pain and your joy is mine."

Title: Kiss My Lips
Series: Holiday Series, #2
Genre: Romance/Contemporary/Multicultural/Interracial
ISBN: 978-1502776549 (Paperback)
Publication Date: Wednesday 29th October 2014
Cover Artist: Love Bites And Silk

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Don't Leave your Personality at the Door of a Relationship

A new short story (#8 in a series) written by the talented fellow Pen Sister Valerie Allen got my attention yesterday.
(It's still free on Amazon!)
"Potty Talk"- not exactly a name that would intrigue me, but since I know her craftsmanship I started to read it.
A young woman cleaning the stalls of a restroom overhears the conversation of two women who recently got divorced.
Why did they get divorced? Did the man cheat? Was he abusive, an alcoholic?
No such things."
"Petty things built up over the years and somehow 'our life' became 'his life."

Simple little things brought them to the edge to end their respective marriages: one didn't like his wife to wear white, the other preferred the AC to run full blast never realizing how his wife suffered.
That reminded me of my first marriage: He couldn't stand pop music and switched it off whenever he came into the room where i was listening.Or the constant quarrel about the temperature all over the house and particularly in the bedroom. (Well, I'll tell you a secret my libido just disappeared with frigid temperatures).
And guess what, the first thing I did as a new divorcee was turn up the heat whenever I wanted and I danced in the kitchen whenever I wanted to my favorite music.
There were other reasons to be sure, but these stuck in my mind. And they were not easily explained to the children.
In some cases it is the socks and underwear on the floor or the toilet seat up...Everybody knows marriage is about compromise but if you feel you're the one who has to give in all the time and doesn't get her needs met, something is wrong in the state of Denmark.
You will ask what the restroom cleaner had to do with it? She knows she has to straighten out a few things with her man.
She isn't married yet, but lives with her boyfriend.When she comes home from work (he doesn't seem to be employed), he is watching sports with beer in his hand and feet on the table.
She tries to get his attention:
"Please turn down the TV".
She wants to talk to him.
About things.
About what she overheard.                                          

"Wait, just this game."
"Wait, it's almost over."
She even tries to seduce him to switch off the TV.
No joy! So she cries in the shower...."I just need to talk to you..."
Will she leave him? I wonder.

Like I said in my book Next Time Lucky: Don't leave

"your personality at the door of a new relationship, something we women tend to do.  Having been brought up to be a good girl, to do the right thing, to please a man, not cause any fracas, we often ignore our own needs.  Even in bed.  I remembered the old saying ‘Good girls go to heaven – bad girls can go anywhere!’ I also thought about the advice I gave others:
Be who you are, know what you want and say it loud so that your man understands you because they are from Mars and we are from Venus: subtle hints don’t work.  You have to call it whatever it is.  Sounds easy when you start a relationship; you have an idea or so you think – until you run up against obstacles and problems. Life throws out so many distractions and influences that where one sets out to go is often not where one ends up.  But that’s okay.  Life is a journey – looking more and more like a road map than a straight line.  Things that have happened in your life have happened.  You are living the result of your prior actions."